Chapter 31: Originally Willing to Be a Beam of Light
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Bae Joo-hyun was angry. She had to be. Her reddened eyes were fixed on him, and she was holding that iron chain in her hand.
“It’s all right. There aren’t any broken bites. I put a lot of thought into making that protective suit.”
“Dangerous~!”
Bae Joo-hyun had said only one word. Xiao Guang happily walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder, but she twisted from side to side and said again,
“Dangerous~~!”
“All right, I understand. It was very dangerous. I promise I won’t do anything like that again. I know the zombies are changing now, okay? Next time I won’t meddle in other people’s business. Min-ju, come persuade her.”
Min-ju, standing nearby, shook her head. The gesture was so adorable that Xiao Guang reached out, caught her, and pulled her to his side. He pointed to the bruised bite marks on his leg.
“Look how awful biting people is. So you mustn’t bite anyone.”
Min-ju cautiously examined the marks on Xiao Guang’s leg, clamped her mouth shut, then turned to look at Bae Joo-hyun before extending her little hand to touch Xiao Guang’s leg.
Xiao Guang was frightened in retrospect as well. Looking at the bites on his calf, he realized that if he had been wearing even one fewer layer of clothing, the wounds might have broken through. He had to admit that the canvas-like waterproof layer underneath had been remarkably sturdy.
“Don’t be angry anymore. Let me rest for a while. I brought these back for you two. See if there’s anything you like. There are a few little balls in there too—Min-ju, pick one, so you won’t have to wait around looking so pitiful anymore.”
After touching Bae Joo-hyun’s cheek once more, Xiao Guang turned and went back to sit beside the sofa. He was safe now, but his heart was far from as calm as he appeared.
He knew that the zombies were changing, but he had always believed they would change for the better, just like Bae Joo-hyun and Kim Min-ju at home. Perhaps the virus had infected them and plunged them into a tragic existence.
They had lost their memories and many of their instincts. Every time Xiao Guang saw those zombies wandering about in a daze, he felt sorry for them from the bottom of his heart.
He did not know whether their souls were locked inside some tiny dark room, with no light and no way out, their one remaining shred of desire magnified without limit.
Why did they lunge at the living and bite them? Many stories claimed it was because they craved the vitality of human beings. Min-ju would sometimes press her little nose against his body and sniff him repeatedly, much like a cute puppy trying to identify a scent.
Xiao Guang had also seen Min-ju secretly extend the tip of her tongue and lick his skin. She looked as though he were a slice of cream cake—or a roasted chicken leg.
If that logic held, then zombies attacked and bit humans for food.
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Yet every effort a living creature made to obtain food was, in truth, an effort to survive.
So zombies might gain a sense of fullness and satisfaction from biting humans, something that made them feel as though they were continuing to live. But didn’t that contradict the very definition of a zombie?
A zombie was supposed to be a dead corpse. If that was not the reason, then there was another possibility: zombies regarded humans as enemies. But that was even harder for Xiao Guang to accept. Why would zombies consider humans their enemies?
Perhaps everything he had been thinking was wrong. Perhaps it was wrong from the outset to use human logic to ponder the thoughts of zombies.
Bae Joo-hyun was still standing stubbornly where she was. Xiao Guang rose, took the iron chain from her hand, and placed it beneath the sofa before walking over and gathering her into his arms.
Bae Joo-hyun kept watching him with her red eyes. When Xiao Guang lifted her, she forcefully maintained an upright posture, refusing to let him easily hold her. Her resistance resembled that of a girlfriend throwing a tantrum, leaving Xiao Guang with no choice but to kiss her cheek.
“There really won’t be a next time. I know that if I went out and never came back, you would be heartbroken. Believe me, there truly won’t be a next time. I’ll definitely come back and keep living with you.”
Why had Bae Joo-hyun become so angry when she saw the bite marks on his leg? That was another question.
A zombie becoming angry was itself a contradiction. Normally, there should have been only rage and frenzy. Holding Bae Joo-hyun in his arms and looking at Min-ju, who was carefully leaning against him, Xiao Guang found there were many things he could not understand. Since he could not make sense of them, he decided not to think about them anymore.
He believed they had been infected by the virus and that their souls must be suffering terribly. Perhaps completely losing themselves at a time like this was a kind of release. But the two of them were different: they knew something was wrong with their bodies, yet had no idea what to do.
Xiao Guang preferred to think of them as newly born souls. If that was the case, then talking to them every day, feeding them, and helping them bathe all had meaning.
He believed that everything he did was telling them that, besides complete madness, they still had a better choice. Because he existed, he would make sure they would not end up as wretched as the zombies wandering the streets.
In fact, Bae Joo-hyun and Kim Min-ju were developing in precisely the direction he had hoped. That morning, Xiao Guang had even seen Min-ju clumsily tugging at her yoga clothes. Bae Joo-hyun’s loose onesie was easy to put on.
Min-ju seemed to want to dress herself as well. She pulled the yoga top until it stretched long, yet could not fit herself into it properly. The gesture resembled the behavior of someone with a brain injury—poor coordination, or perhaps incomplete intellectual development.
If that was truly the case, then it meant that even after being infected by the virus, these zombies could slowly regain their humanity under guidance and return to their original selves. Xiao Guang was willing to become that ray of light that tore through their darkness.
But tonight’s encounter had poured a bucket of cold water over him. He had helped those four female zombies because he was afraid they would be harmed in their ragged clothing, and had even chosen sturdy denim outfits to cover them. They should have been grateful to him. Yet when they lunged at him, Xiao Guang saw the madness blazing in their eyes.
“I always feel that the world outside is changing, but I have no idea why.”
“Dangerous.”
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“Yes.”
Xiao Guang was accustomed to speaking aloud, but he had never expected Bae Joo-hyun and Min-ju to immediately respond to his words.
He stared at the two girls in astonishment, momentarily unsure what to say. Simply saying he was happy could not express what he felt. Grinning from ear to ear, Xiao Guang put his arms around Bae Joo-hyun and Min-ju and kissed them several times in succession.
“Did you speak because I was in danger and you were worried about me?”
The assumption was clearly beyond Bae Joo-hyun and Min-ju’s understanding. They only stared straight at Xiao Guang, as though they had not understood what he meant.
Xiao Guang exchanged glances with them for a while, then could only abandon the idea of conversation. He stretched his leg and said,
“I’m exhausted today. To be honest, I was frightened too. You can’t understand me anyway, but I was terrified afterward. If that first zombie had managed to grab hold of me, I might really not have made it back. I think I’ll lie down for a while. Do you want to keep watching television?”
Xiao Guang picked up the remote and turned on the television, switching it to the SBS Gayo Daejeon. Once both their gazes had settled on the screen, he got up and went to take a shower.
A patch of flesh on his arm hurt badly. He tugged at the sleeve and looked, and sure enough, there was another bite mark. He had only noticed his calf and had not realized that he had been injured there too. Without that protective gear, it truly would have been impossible to guard against everything. The human body covered such a large area, with too many weak points.
After a quick shower to wash away the greasy feeling on his skin, Xiao Guang had planned to go straight to the bedroom. But when he opened the bathroom door, he found Bae Joo-hyun and Min-ju both standing outside. Min-ju was still tugging at the sleeve of her yoga top.
“All right, I’ll wash you two as well. You hardly sweat at all, so why do you like bathing so much?”
He quickly stripped the two of them down until they looked like little white lambs, led them beneath the showerhead, and told them to close their eyes. First he used shampoo, then body wash, rubbing both of them until they were covered in suds. Once the shower was turned on, he went for speed and efficiency.
There was one small problem. Shampoo was easy enough to lather, but body wash was troublesome. Unlike him, the two of them had no body hair with which to work the soap into foam. Between them, they did not have a single strand.
Xiao Guang could only pour the body wash onto a towel, rub the towel until it was covered in suds, and then wipe it over their bodies.
He had to admit that, even though it was still work, this was far easier than farming. Watching the shower rinse the two of them clean, Xiao Guang could not help sighing.
“If only farming were this easy.”
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