Volume One: The Graveyard of Eight Coffins Chapter Two: Reselling Haunted Houses

I really wanted to throw in the towel, push open the coffin lid, and run out. But I’d taken their money to ward off misfortune for them—if I’d bailed right after climbing in, that would’ve been pretty dishonorable. Not to mention, those three sons had already called me “father.” If I ran out, they’d probably hack me to pieces.

So I gritted my teeth and lay inside, counting the seconds on my fingers. I don’t know how long passed; I must have nerves of steel, because I dozed off in a daze. When I woke up, I’d completely lost track of time, had no idea how long until dawn. Even though there was earth piled atop the coffin lid, I could feel a chilling wind seeping in from outside.

That wind cut into me like knives. Besides the pounding of my own heart, I heard a faint rustling coming from the four corners of the coffin. After a while, something seemed to crawl onto my body.

I reached out and grabbed a handful of wriggling things in my palm. “Damn!” I shouted, realizing I was covered in a mass of insects. The things I’d picked up had hard shells and spindly legs—utterly disgusting.

They weren’t afraid of people, and who knows how they’d gotten in, but more and more kept coming, swarming all over me, even crawling toward my face. A few even tried to wriggle into my nostrils and ears.

My patience snapped. With a shout, I pushed myself upright from the coffin. Luckily, it wasn’t a real coffin, and the layer of earth on top was thin—I managed to jump out without much trouble.

Outside, the night was deep and still; the crowd had long since scattered. I let out a sigh of relief and, by the light of the moon, glanced back at the coffin. Strangely, there was no sign of any bugs inside. Had I just hallucinated everything?

Baffled, I didn’t dare lie back down. I simply took off at a run and hurried home. Even after getting home, the chill hadn’t left my body; I shivered under the covers. Soon, I came down with a high fever, burning up and slipping into a semi-conscious haze.

After a while, I vaguely saw my third uncle stumble in, his face bruised and swollen, hair wild as a thicket, and his already tattered Taoist robe now reduced to rags. He looked at my condition and sighed, “Nephew, if only you’d stayed put, everything would’ve worked out. Now look, it’s all messed up…”

I croaked, “Easy for you to say. Try letting a bunch of bugs crawl all over you and see how you like it!”

Uncle just shook his head and didn’t argue, instead pulling out a few pills and stuffing them into my mouth. By the next morning, my fever was gone.

When I wanted to find Uncle to ask what had happened, I discovered he’d left home during the night.

Later, I heard that Old Liang had died that very night—around the time I’d climbed out of the coffin. Uncle had bungled the job and gotten a solid beating from the three sons. I figured he was too embarrassed to stay and simply ran off.

After that, I didn’t hear from Uncle again—until I got his phone call.

He sounded thrilled to hear my voice on the phone, telling me he’d been making his fortune down south, settled in Shenzhen, working as a feng shui consultant for several listed companies, earning tens of thousands a month. He said he was too busy alone and wanted me to come help him, promising cars, a house, and pretty girls.

I was at the end of my rope—Uncle’s call was like a lifeline, and I had no choice but to grab on. Knowing Uncle, I was sure he was exaggerating, but no matter how much he was stretching the truth, it couldn’t be worse than my current situation, right? As it turned out, I really didn’t know my third uncle at all.

So I bought a hard-seat ticket south, heading for Shenzhen and my uncle.

When I met him at the station, I barely recognized him. In my memory, he was still in that shabby Taoist robe, down and out. Now, he was dressed in a suit and gold-rimmed glasses, hair slicked and shiny. The moment he saw me, he gave me a bear hug, shouting, “My dear nephew, finally! You’re a lifesaver for your old uncle…”

I thought, “What? I just got here—how could I possibly help you?”

Lugging my suitcase, I watched as Uncle hailed a cab. I started having doubts—wasn’t he earning tens of thousands a month? Why didn’t he even have a car?

It didn’t take long for my suspicions to be confirmed. Uncle directed the cab out of the city, winding through turns until we stopped in a district of old apartment buildings.

He led me down into a basement. My gut told me I’d been conned by this unreliable uncle again. The place was damp and gloomy, reeking of mold, with cockroaches crawling everywhere, piles of empty bottles and instant noodle boxes in the corners—a place so foul even rats might avoid it, unfit for human habitation.

I sneered, “Uncle, is this the dormitory that comes with your high-paying feng shui consultant job?”

Uncle grinned awkwardly, but before he could answer, a group of men burst in. They were all bald, shirtless under vests, tattooed all over—trouble, no doubt.

The leader, a burly man with a dark complexion, glanced at me and said to Uncle, “Well, Daoist Li, this is your nephew, Li Yang? Time to pay up, wouldn’t you say?”

Uncle hurried forward, “Boss Wu, my nephew’s just arrived. He’s a college graduate, sharp as a tack. With the two of us, don’t worry—your money will be paid back with interest, I promise.”

The big man raised an eyebrow. “You keep saying ‘in a while.’ How long has it been already? I’m not that patient. Now that your nephew’s here, I’ll give you some face. I’ll be back in half a month. If you don’t pay up then, both you and your nephew better watch yourselves…”

Uncle quickly agreed.

With a wave, a few of his men stepped up, pinned me down, and took the few hundred yuan we had between us.

After they swaggered out, I glared at Uncle, furious. “You really have some nerve, dragging your own nephew into this. Did you borrow money to gamble again? And how do they know my name?”

Uncle didn’t answer at first, just pulled a piece of paper from his bag and handed it to me.

It was a loan contract—Uncle had borrowed three hundred thousand yuan. Two names were signed at the bottom: mine and “Li Dongbin.”

I pointed at the name. “Who the hell is Li Dongbin?”

Uncle gave a wry smile. “That’s me.”

“Bull. Isn’t your name Li Dagang?”

“Heh, Li Dagang just doesn’t sound celestial enough. I changed my name to Li Dongbin ages ago…”

“Unbelievable. Li Dagang, you’re something else…”

“Nephew, it’s Li Dongbin…”

I waved him off. “Cut the crap. Why’d you put my name on the loan? What did I ever do to you? No wonder you said I was a big help the moment I arrived. You were just pulling me into this mess.”

“Nephew, I did the calculations—our birthdates are a perfect match for making money. Only by sticking together can we have good fortune…”

“Get lost. If I believe you again, I’m your pet. Listen, unless it’s my signature, that contract’s not valid. You can stay here and be your feng shui consultant all you want—I’m out of here…” I was shaking with anger, ignoring Uncle as I turned to leave.

“Nephew, you saw those guys. They don’t care if the contract’s valid or not. If you try to run, they won’t let you go.”

I’d only taken a few steps when his words made me stop. He had a point—those guys were obviously thugs and played by no rules.

Seeing me hesitate, Uncle rushed to say, “Nephew, I’m not lying to you. I really have a way to make big money. I called you here so we can get rich together. Forget three hundred thousand—three million won’t be a problem…”

I looked at Uncle, a mix of anger, resentment, and pity. That suit was probably just for show.

“Got anything to eat? I’m starving…”

Uncle nodded eagerly, cooked up two packets of instant noodles, and handed me a pair of chopsticks. “Eat up, and listen while I explain…”

I sneered, “Don’t tell me you want me to crawl into another coffin?”

He laughed awkwardly, “Of course not. That was poor planning on my part. This time, I’ve thought it through…”

He quickly filled me in. Only then did I learn that the three hundred thousand wasn’t for gambling—there was a little girl in this apartment complex with leukemia. Without a bone marrow transplant, she wouldn’t survive, and the operation cost over three hundred thousand. After years in Shenzhen, Uncle didn’t have that much, so he’d borrowed from a loan shark to pay for her surgery.

Uncle showed me the hospital receipts, afraid I wouldn’t believe him.

For the first time, I saw him in a new light. “Uncle, your spirit is admirable, but borrowing from loan sharks is too risky. And you dragged me into it too.”

He waved it off. “Nephew, I had no other way. Trust me this once—I really have a way to make money, but I need your help for it to work…”

Seeing how confident he was, I could only quiet down and listen.

His plan, as it turned out, was to buy and sell haunted houses. According to him, the profits were huge—if things went well, one deal could cover the debt.

I was unimpressed. “Give me a break. Last time you almost got me buried alive, now you want me to flip haunted houses. Everyone knows they’re crawling with ghosts—only idiots would go in. I’m not ready to die yet…”

Uncle’s face turned red with anxiety. Afraid I’d leave, he clutched my sleeve. “Nephew, haven’t these past years been especially unlucky for you? Always down on your luck?”

That hit home. Damn, these past years had been a disaster—cheated on by my girlfriend, mistakes at work, lost my shirt in business… every kind of bad luck had come my way.

Seeing me silent, Uncle continued, “I told you before—the bad luck from your grandfather, my father, will dog you your whole life. Last time I had a way to fix it, but you messed it up. If you want to turn your luck around, do as I say this time…”

I eyed him askance. “You really have a way?”

“Of course! Who am I? Li Dongbin! Leave it to me…”